carbink:

valleanenowe:

[wakes up] [clown vanishes] aaaahhh that was a nice rest. i slept like a baby all night. time to start the day [gets up] [takes a shower and brushes teeth] [gets dressed] [goes about my day taking care of business] [comes home] fwoo i’m tired. it’s time for a hard-earned night’s rest. [lies down] [falls asleep] [evil clown materializes in my room and watches me sleep all night]

no text post has ever started better than “[wakes up] [clown vanishes]” I’m hooked into the story I want to know more about this world

litos-t:

Riega tus plantitas,

háblales bonito,

quiérelas mucho

y verás como crecen.

(lo mismo pasa con tu alma y con tu cuerpo.)

flashingrainbow:

“Ser una persona insegura te destroza la cabeza.”

- Lo lei por ahí

hisnamewasbeanni:

exeggutor:

everyone who died at the battle of hogwarts missed All Star by Smash Mouth’s release two days later

It’s so tragic, they still had so much to do, so much to see

lord-kitschener:

kidzbopdeathgrips:

lord-kitschener:

Putting potato chips on a sandwich with the other ingredients so you get a cronch is absolute the only righteous way to live

hey what the fuck

Stop being afraid to live deliciously

etirabys:

argumate:

etirabys:

guy who invented the piano: what if we laid a harp on its side and added hammers

musician: you clumsy oaf, you just knocked over my harp with your toolbox!

guy who’s about to invent the piano: oh, haven’t you heard?

how dare you take this mediocre shitpost and make it genuinely funny